Some More

Day 53:

Last Tuesday Night

Well the GM looked quite poorly,
As I got home Tuesday night
All dressed up to go running,
but hunched and shivering – quite a
sight,
On the couch I left him,
snuggled in, he began to snore.
I cursed the cold and darkness
and struggled out the door
The traffic was at a standstill
as I persevered out West,
To the Etals! I was eager,
to run the run! (I jest).
The run began quite slowly,
just one check, one halt we’re told,
and all up and down ole’ Massey
we bundled Hashers strolled
The path it was well marked,
in paper, flour and chalky trail
(we were told that DD ate some
of the tasteless hashing braille)

When the roads looked all familiar
(though granted, rather dark)
and the hills looked all slippery,
We found the Pisstop at Don Buck Park.
Ignoring signs of ‘no drinking,’
We drank and ate with glee,
and then on home it was
(it wasn’t too far you see).
Back home Petal had accomplished
A magnificent feast for one and all,
Even me ( now that I’m fussy)
Scoffed much upon Kracken’s call.

With Meatballs and rice (two types),
And vegan curry too
Upside down pineapple cake
And fish-sticks for you-know-who.
Full and thoroughly buggered,
We all enjoyed the yak,
Then Kraken started fining
Yea, our singing’s always slack.
On Home I did return,
Expecting to find GM in bed,
But no – he was on the computer
Eating chocolate cake instead.

Day 54:Summer dawn

Sunshine makes the grass glow
And smiles grow
As flowers show

Dainty heads bursting free
For the bee
To come see

Leaves unfurl their springtime face
Every place
A happy face

Skies shine blue and clear and high
Sun idles by
Calmly sighs

A warm wind promises longer days
Summer rays
Laughter plays

Day 55:Excitement Building

Happiness is bursting free
joy pours from all parts of me
I feel it in every single vein
a fire I could not restrain

What is this feeling and where's it from?
Is it just that spring has sprung?
And now that the sun can glow bright,
I feel that all will be alright.

Summer's knocking on the door,
Promising fun and I want more
This day light is a drug I swear,
clearing shadows and ending fear.

Pale skin glows and drinks it in,
warming with it's giddy grin,
too soon the night! But never mind
Soon comes the day when clocks unwind

And then I'm sure heat will prevail,
and burn and scorch all it can assail.
But who cares? Winter's ended
and the world must be refriended.

Day 56:Must. Not. Give. Up.

The pen has run itself out of ink,
and there is nothing left to think
The well is emptied, its innards dry,
rocks will not weep for want nor try

and though a goal is halfway done,
its still a long way to run
bake the cake but lacking flour,
we ponder words for many an hour

what to say? what to write,
the words will not form tonight
not before has such a drought
filled my mind with literary doubt

when a wall is all that one can see
a poem about that wall must be
purge the wall from thought and brain
and begin again refreshed again

Will this block recede when writ?
or is this the end of poetic wit?
can I go on - or will I fail?
and have meandering sentences that awkwardly trail…


Day 57:Purge-a-story

Writing quickly with much haste
I haven't any time to waste
Quick think words that have rhyme and thought
And link them in phrases as though they ought

If words sound clunky, trim and refine
Count out the syllables of each line
But not today, today,  we speed
For quickly writ is the greater need

Sloppy can pass today as gold

I'll put down thoughts however bold

As long as it's fast, it'll be put on screen

It doesn't matter what it may mean.

Day 58:Wordvomit

Into a lake of fire and storm
A careless dryad dipped deep and warm
Her heart was burnt and her life put out
Sleeping on the rivers drought

A hapless hag sought a bigger prize
And took a log before her eyes
Home to use as fuel for flame
Destruction for resource, no blame game

All dryads dreams went up in smoke
And a passing rouge made a crude joke
As the world elsewhere continued to spin
In all it's many and varied sin

A few More

Day 50:

Sexy knickers

Sexy knickers riding high
Doing naught but chafing thigh
Fancy bra of fanciful hue
Not quite built for holding two

Underwear is rarely sought
For anything outside support
Yet in drawers of drawers plain
Are those taboo and less mundane

Briefs so brief they barely are
And lacy things quite bizarre
Things with holes in front and back
And the thong for the magnetic crack

All the garments sit unworn
As days go by and I'm torn
Between the shorts old and soft
With the bra holding boobs aloft

Or something sexy but sorely felt
As it digs in below the belt
Looking great but unseen
As underclothes have mostly been

So once again I pick the shorts
Unglamorous but worth retorts
For I will be comfy in my gear!
... Depending on which dress I wear...

Day 51:Waiting

Hands tick by,
seconds go past
watch it fly
failing to last

soon becomes now
what is soon was
not knowing how
there is no pause

stir discomfort
powerless we
wait to buffer
towards the see

A coaster strains
cresting the hill
blinded by pains
downwards we spill

whipping through all
carts plummet on
ignoring your call
bring terror upon

Tick tock tick tock
beware the clock
for it controls time
and it cannot be stopped.

Day 52:Questions

Where we exist is telling
of our self and of our fate

for if we live in present
we surely lack restraint

and if we dwell in the past
then we have much regret

but if we work for tomorrow
we’re living on a bet

do we wait for dice to roll
before we make our move?

do we do as we have always done,
making ruts in this groove?

do we cast aside concerns
and just exist for joy?

do we close our eyes and shrug,
dancing chance’s ploy?

Will happiness come from asking why
or learning not to care?

Will contentment be in success
or from avoiding all we fear?

Will questions bring us answers
or drown us as they breed?

should we ignore suspicions
and not let dissention seed?

Which of the paths is righter?
to be ignorant and free?

Or to suffer and be learned?
(however cliche that may be)

And do we get to make that choice?
in blindness there’s not light

we may not know we're happy,
until all is put to plight.

And then surely we’ll look back
in derision of complaint

Wishing we’d spent time laughing
instead of worrying about what ain’t. 

Fell off the bandwagon. Alas.

Whelp,

I've written the poems! they're all on the project page.

I'll do a dump now though!

Day 46:

Sideline Dinners                      

 

As I sit and watch you eat
your cheesy pizza full of meat
I nibble broccoli and sprouts
ignoring my head full of doubts

Green is good and raw is great
Learning to love the foods I hate
But the smell of deep fried chips
brings frothing saliva to my lips

Sprinkle spice to make it hot
then pretend it is what its not
'I am happy with these vege,'
'I will not surrender,' this is my pledge

Munch Munch Munch, chew and swallow
in regrets I shall not wallow
Meals are simple and soon forgot
but the healthy feels will grow a lot.

Day 47 : Money

My wallet is choked
The bank account poked
Slush funds have run dry
My savings do cry

How hard is it to budget?
When there's a sale I'll fudge it
But otherwise I'm smart
And careful to an art

But then A and E for one,
And that's a hundred done
Then doctor, and I was new
So quickly a ninety blew

Testing that's not funded,
Fifty dollars they plundered
The AA wanted me to renew
And the ms society subscription too

Also there's the new diet
No meat or dairy and can't fry it
So fresh veges and fresh fish
Make a quick, but costly dish

Where does it all go?
So hard earned with naught to show
Next month will be tighter
And my spending must be lighter.

Day 48 Herring and Now

Hey little fish in the ocean,
Im sorry, it's scary out there,
There is so much world to see
Yet so much hurt you might bear,

But swim straight and strong and true
And don't get distracted by hooks
For though they are baited delicious
At the end they are just greedy crooks

How will you know then, the morsel
The one that it is safe to eat?
I guess that it is hard to know,
So nibble a few as a treat.

But most of all embrace the water
Feel it hug you as it passes by
This is the life to sustain you
As is air to a bird of the sky

Feel yourself grow strong in the tide
Know that you are unique in the sea
Schooling or hermit, you're destined
To find where you're going to be.

Day 49:

Bed

These days I love to nap,
To snuggle and to sleep
Nestled in a blanket wrap
I'll surrender and fall in deep

In dreaming there be adventure
Yet while warm and soft inside
With no dissent to censure
All Possibilities can ride

that's while eyes are lidded
And sometimes mine are wide
As I take in books unbidded
And learn all the things words hide

Bed is a place of wonder
And you'll often find me here
It is a place to ponder
Or dream without a care.

But I like bed best when together
With my Chris who loves it too,
we'll cuddle through all weather
Murmuring our 'I love you's.

Day 42:Musings, Day 43:To Shedinn, Day 44:Mouse and Day 45:Success!

Musings

The problem with contentment
is it leaves me uninspired
and when I go searching
I find very little thats desired

Writing words on satisfaction,
is a journey in mundane
for the life when ordinary
is a story rather plain

Some say art is reflection
but when there’s naught to see
does a mirror become a window
Or is chaos straining free

Is inner peace a bandaid
hiding truth from seeking light
are we really blinded
when we think things are alright

Or can I just not be bothered
finding fault in privileged life
building guilt that silences
my petty thoughts of strife.

To Shedinn

There once was a Dragonboard Bard,
Who found effective diplomacy hard,
as much as he talked
nobody balked
And combat had left him quite scarred,

In towns he collected some stuff,
and made potions when he had enough
ones that’d go bang,
and impress the whole gang
surely then they would think he was tough.

Soon the undead were all round,
and our heroes had beat them to ground
with charging and fire
the situation looked dire
but a victory was certainly sound

However our bard got a hot head,
and rushed to the big boss instead,
with a gloating stare
she froze him there
and pretty soon he was nearly dead.

But part of this heroes load,
was twenty-nine bottles he’d stowed,
and upon his demise,
with a bit of surprise,
The Dragonborn was born to explode

Fire, lighting and acid rained,
leaving many to feel quite pained,
the big boss was done
the heroes had won
though, not much of value was gained.

Mouse

A little mouse hid from the whole of the world
In his corner he'd built a nest and up curled
Here he was safe from the cats and the sounds
This was his sanctuary, alone under grounds

The mouse was a coward, though he called himself wise
Knowing He who stands to be brave, does, falls and dies.
Far better the life lived long in a hole
Than the death cut short from a ill chanced roll

So the mouse existed for years with great care
Living every day in perpetual fear
For should nary a whisker stray out of place
Then the mouse might've fallen flat on his face

Nothing came of the mouse who never took risk
At the end it was like he didn't even exist
What was the point? Well perhaps there is none
Except to make most of every day under the sun.

Success!

Aching arms and groaning legs
'No more, please', the body begs,
'Just once more,' bargains the brain
I'm sure we can ascend again

Wrapped around and pulled tight
Scrambling clumsily to alight
Up and up, straining to hold
'Youre doing well,' the limbs are told

So high up, higher than before
A danger now, the fall to floor
Hold legs tight and downwards slide
Burning fingers lack skill and hide

But still! At last! progress was made
All that effort handsomely paid
For now that's easy, something new
Something else impossible to do

Day 40:An Ode and Day 41:Retrospective Correction

An Ode

Farewell. So long
Good bye
This will be hard
I'll try

A different road
I tread
A changed outlook
Instead

I've loved you more
Than's good
If you could stay
I would

The choice was hard
To keep
Focused forward
And reap

My life goes on
Without
I'll try forget
No doubt

You'll always be
Right there
I'll struggle to
Not care.

I will be strong
And brave
To deny myself
The crave.

Breathe in and out.
Head high,
Today is good
I'll fly.

Retrospective Correction

Before you lies a poem
with words all in a line
and it may be read quickly
or not at all (that’s fine),

A poem each day is telling
and inside my head you’ll look
each day a different cranny
of my subconscious’s nook

Sometimes my words are woeful,
laced with dark thoughts and regret
other times delightful
and more still, nonsense, yet...

in the silly there are secrets
as I attempt to push you out
those are days when sharing
is an ideal I strongly doubt.

Often they will be the days
when you end up in space
away from my inner workings,
perhaps in an imagined place.

It was not done on purpose,
I myself was caught unaware,
when I found myself thinking
“no one wants to read that here.”

And what dishonesty is that?
to be so judging of you,
so from now on I’ll try
to keep every one word true.

And if that means I’m fighting
with demons hidden deep
you’ll be right beside me,
if my company you’ll keep

Day 38:2nd Migraine in a week and Day 39:Choices

2nd Migraine in a week 
My brain is on fire
the pain is intense
another migraine
nothing makes sense

the ache grows fast
overtaking my mind
I’ve taken my drugs
but I’m still going blind

everything is so loud
every noise is a shout
the nausea rises
dinner wants to get out

Unsteadily stumbling
I lie on the floor
clambour for sleep
so i don’t feel much more

unnatural agony
holds ransom my thought
my brain drums my skull
a beat so distraught

Come now, angel white
take hold of the pain,
extinguish the fire
make me sane again

its only been ten,
my back starts to groan
the pain radiates
right down to the bone

I think I should rest
get  broken to bed
pray that sleep takes
and soothes my raging head.

Choices

Before lies two paths
neither desired
one hard, but safe,
one's lazy, and I’m tired

The path that cares
naught for tomorrow
is easy and simple,
but may lead to sorrow

the path that climbs
the mountain ahead
is a mission, alas
and it fills me with dread

restriction, control,
a life lived in fear,
futility or failure
what choice is there?

For if I go down
a path while blind
ignoring all truth
putting fact out of mind

then I will only have
myself to blame
when at the end
my legs go lame.

so the decision is made
though not really by me
for I want a life
where I can be free.

Unfortunately I've not been well. Damned illness. It's taken its toll on my writing and I've decided (or had the decision made for me really) to start an uber restrictive diet (following doc's recommendations). No meat (except Seafood), no dairy, no saturated fats. It's really scary for the butter and steak loving girl that I am.

Practically vegan - the most reluctant one ever. 

Day 37: Up

Up

Soaring up high in the air,
free as a bird, without a care
looking down on all that’s there
a beauty one can hardly bear

the world, a swirly blue-green ball
on which all life will rise and fall
Here is home, for one and all
a dust fleck in a cosmic hall