Day 40:An Ode and Day 41:Retrospective Correction

An Ode

Farewell. So long
Good bye
This will be hard
I'll try

A different road
I tread
A changed outlook
Instead

I've loved you more
Than's good
If you could stay
I would

The choice was hard
To keep
Focused forward
And reap

My life goes on
Without
I'll try forget
No doubt

You'll always be
Right there
I'll struggle to
Not care.

I will be strong
And brave
To deny myself
The crave.

Breathe in and out.
Head high,
Today is good
I'll fly.

Retrospective Correction

Before you lies a poem
with words all in a line
and it may be read quickly
or not at all (that’s fine),

A poem each day is telling
and inside my head you’ll look
each day a different cranny
of my subconscious’s nook

Sometimes my words are woeful,
laced with dark thoughts and regret
other times delightful
and more still, nonsense, yet...

in the silly there are secrets
as I attempt to push you out
those are days when sharing
is an ideal I strongly doubt.

Often they will be the days
when you end up in space
away from my inner workings,
perhaps in an imagined place.

It was not done on purpose,
I myself was caught unaware,
when I found myself thinking
“no one wants to read that here.”

And what dishonesty is that?
to be so judging of you,
so from now on I’ll try
to keep every one word true.

And if that means I’m fighting
with demons hidden deep
you’ll be right beside me,
if my company you’ll keep

Day 38:2nd Migraine in a week and Day 39:Choices

2nd Migraine in a week 
My brain is on fire
the pain is intense
another migraine
nothing makes sense

the ache grows fast
overtaking my mind
I’ve taken my drugs
but I’m still going blind

everything is so loud
every noise is a shout
the nausea rises
dinner wants to get out

Unsteadily stumbling
I lie on the floor
clambour for sleep
so i don’t feel much more

unnatural agony
holds ransom my thought
my brain drums my skull
a beat so distraught

Come now, angel white
take hold of the pain,
extinguish the fire
make me sane again

its only been ten,
my back starts to groan
the pain radiates
right down to the bone

I think I should rest
get  broken to bed
pray that sleep takes
and soothes my raging head.

Choices

Before lies two paths
neither desired
one hard, but safe,
one's lazy, and I’m tired

The path that cares
naught for tomorrow
is easy and simple,
but may lead to sorrow

the path that climbs
the mountain ahead
is a mission, alas
and it fills me with dread

restriction, control,
a life lived in fear,
futility or failure
what choice is there?

For if I go down
a path while blind
ignoring all truth
putting fact out of mind

then I will only have
myself to blame
when at the end
my legs go lame.

so the decision is made
though not really by me
for I want a life
where I can be free.

Unfortunately I've not been well. Damned illness. It's taken its toll on my writing and I've decided (or had the decision made for me really) to start an uber restrictive diet (following doc's recommendations). No meat (except Seafood), no dairy, no saturated fats. It's really scary for the butter and steak loving girl that I am.

Practically vegan - the most reluctant one ever. 

Day 37: Up

Up

Soaring up high in the air,
free as a bird, without a care
looking down on all that’s there
a beauty one can hardly bear

the world, a swirly blue-green ball
on which all life will rise and fall
Here is home, for one and all
a dust fleck in a cosmic hall

Day 36:He.

He.

As I look upon your face
I am filled with serene grace
and I know this is my place
To be,

I have taken cupid’s dart,
he has struck me through the heart
I can no more be apart,
from thee,

Your soul lights mine and flares bright,
bringing joy to all in sight
none can see and not delight,
for we,

Heart in hand, we will grow old,
our love will, through time, be told
as tales of queens and kings bold
with glee,

But for now we live in peace,
with promises our love shan't cease
ever tucked in my heart’s crease,
You’ll be.

Day 35:Bubble

Bubble

A world in a bubble,
Insulated from trouble,
Secure and small
unnoticed by all

the isolation station
of an island nation
together but alone
it is all we have known

don’t breach the wall
the safeties may fall
keep everything in
conserve oxygen

eternally pacing,
testing the spacing
of the bars of our cage
silently riot with rage

Day 32:Heater, Day 33:Apology, Day 34:Shades

Heater

There’s something kinda nice
about a heater in the cold
outside can turn to frost and ice
in here is warmth foretold

The warmth makes all things well
his dark stripes holding me in
My lungs fill with his smell,
My heart swells with his grin

The hand that runs through my hair
is gentle and reverent with joy
My forehead is speckled with care
and all that loving does employ

Apology

Today I'm feeling really shit,

so for a rhyme, this is it.

Shades

The saddest tale ever told,
was of a child who never grew old,
age is spurned by the conquest of time
As all march from youth to prime

And so the heart of the greatest clown
hid the struggles that held him down
trapped in a mind so great and kind
disease ate away, leaving naught behind

Sadness fills the void an absence makes
we shame and blame for the life it takes,
in a world of shades and none are white
there’s no path to take that’s always right

It's been a rough week with my MS slapping my around a little. Plus side is that new funding is being considered so I may be be eligible for treatment, which is a huge bonus. Fingers crossed!

Avalon 31/100

Avalon

Sitting, watching, suspicious- spy?
Is that a slip to catch my eye?
Proclaiming innocence, a lie?
Or giving truth his darndest try.

This is a game of clue and wit
Trying to sort who’s who from it
while unable to prove with teeth grit
hard to stand, let alone sit.

Mission check, success - no, fail.
Who has slipped onto our trail?
Has any face fallen pale?
Is there a hint here to hail?

Again, we go, you, you and me
On this quest, a trusted three
For I know - NO! this cannot be!
another failure here I see.

Is it you? Did you betray?
Shall we take him another day?
You can trust me - what can I say?
This is a silly game we play.

Once more upon our quest we go,
surely third time’s not such a blow,
Yes, yes and what - this can’t be so!
Well, Spies win (I’m one you know).

A hilarious game. Thoroughly recommended.